What is "Fly on the Wall" Therapy?

As a Mental Health Therapist, I sometimes practice a Couples Counseling Therapeutic Technique I created called "Fly on the Wall" Therapy.

What is "Fly on the Wall" Therapy?

"Fly on the Wall" Therapy is a technique used when the couple is in session with the Therapist but only 1 person gets to speak for 1/2 hour with the therapist while the other person observes. The last 1/2 hour of the session, both people have equal opportunity to communicate with the Therapist and each other.  The following session allows the next person to have the first 1/2 hour to communicate with the Therapist while the other person observes. Sometimes "Fly on the Wall" Therapy consists of dedicating the first 1/2 hour to one person, then the last 1/2 hour to the other person.

Why do this?

1. It fosters a safe environment for each person to express how they truly feel with a professional involved. 
There may be times when an individual may be fearful to express something important to their partner.  When a Therapist is present, it is the Therapist's job to make sure there are no interruptions or arguments and that the individual gets their due time in being heard. A professional Therapist makes sure that everything being communicated is done so in a respectful and open manner.

2. It teaches Active Listening.
Active Listening is a Counseling Technique where the Listener is attentive to what the other person is saying without interruption.  During active listening, the Listener is encouraged to try to not formulate their response until the other person is done talking. Once it is the Listeners time to speak, they will reflect back, without opinion, what the other person said while making eye contact with their partner. Once the reflection is done, then the Listener responds with their own opinion and feedback.

3.  Most times, in the first 1/2 hour, the Speaker tends to be very honest about their perspective on their partners actions AND their own actions.
When someone is in a Therapy Session where they know their perspective is being over heard, they tend to take more accountability for their actions than if their partner was not in the room. This allows for more self reflection and personal responsibility on the speakers end.

This Technique can also be used at home as a Therapeutic exercise for Couples.  Although there is not the participation of a professional to mediate, it is still a good exercise for practicing Active Listening and Personal Accountability.

Author: Charity M. Loring, LMSW
Ms. Loring is a Clinical Therapist in her Private Practice, Loring Therapy LLC.
Loring Therapy LLC is located in Garden City, MI.
www.loringtherapy.com