Saying No

It is often easy to say yes, it can make one feel good, it can make others feel good, it shows you are being cooperative, perhaps even friendly but, there is also a time to say no. Sometimes we must say no so that we can strengthen our relationship with others. If we consistently find ourselves saying yes even when we are feeling stretched thin, or for any unhealthy reasons, we can tend to resent others and ourselves for saying yes too often. There are ways of saying no nicely and respectfully. And if saying no will keep resentment and the feeling of being taken for granted or obligated out of the equation, then it will truly strengthen our relationships with others.

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Saying no does not mean you are a negative person.

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Saying no does not mean you do not like the other person.

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There are many reasons to say no:

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to protect yourself from harm

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to prevent being exploited by others

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to avoid a commitment to a project when you already have one of your own

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to avoid becoming over burdened with too many responsibilities

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to maintain your morals or beliefs.  

You have a right to say no, and in some cases, an obligation to do so. Saying yes is often easy, saying no may be difficult but is sometimes both needed and the right thing to do.

 

Adapted from the Psychology Today article “The Power of No,” November/December, 2013, Volume 46, Issue 6

By James Clapper Graduate level intern and Charity Loring LMSW, Loring Therapy LLC

www.loringtherapy.com