Coming Out in our society

LGBTQI Coming Out in a Hetero-Normative Society

​Living in a hetero-normative society means that the majority of people function under the belief that people are inherently heterosexual.  People don’t have to “come out” as heterosexual.  Lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, transgender, queer, or intersexed individuals on the other hand are expected to either hide who they are or to personally and publically announce their status.  As the LGBTQI movement progresses, the process of coming out has become easier for some.  We celebrate national coming out day and encourage people to be honest with themselves and those in their life about who they are.  Despite all of our steps forward, there are still many factors about coming out that can cause mild to severe emotional distress.  

​Most individuals encounter some form of self-judgment, depression, anxiety, or other emotional/mental struggles throughout their lives.  For LGBTQI individuals these issues can be compounded by the social and political climate we live in.  Imagine someone struggling with general beliefs that they are not good enough.  Self-worth issues are difficult to navigate on their own, but if we add exclusionary societal views and denial of civil rights then we have the potential for major mental distress.  These issues can make the decision to “come out” extremely difficult.  Remember that you are in charge of your life, you can make the decision of who you tell and when.  There are many benefits to coming out, however, there are also risks. These benefits and risks vary based on location, age, economic status, race, culture, gender, religion, and many other factors.  ONLY YOU can decide what is right for you in terms of your coming out journey.  

​Despite the discrimination faced by the LGBTQI community, it is important to note that history is being made as more and more states are moving forward in providing rights for LGBTQI individuals.  If you’re struggling or know someone who is struggling, look into local resources and support groups.  Some available resources are listed below.

Affirmations

www.goaffirmations.org

290 W. Nine Mile Rd.
Ferndale, MI 48220

(248) 398-7105

Toll-free Helpline: 
1-800-398-GAYS (4297)

Local LGBT Therapeutic Support Groups

Loring Therapy

2240 Middlebelt Rd.

Garden City, MI

http://www.meetup.com/Emotional-Support-Collaborative/  

Human Rights Campaign (HRC)

www.hrc.org

The Ruth Ellis Center

77 Victor St, Highland Park, MI 48203
(313) 867-6936

www.ruthelliscenter.org

Jim Toy Community Center

319 Braun Court 

Ann Arbor, MI 48104 

734.995.9867

www.jimtoycenter.org

Written by: Amanda Furca, Graduate Level Intern, Loring Therapy LLC

Edited by: Charity Loring, LMSW

loringtherapy.com

Adapted from the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) Resource Guide 

to Coming Out 

URL:  http://www.hrc.org/resources/entry/resource-guide-to-coming-out

Dealing with LGBT Stress

​We all know that stress is part of the human condition.  Lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, and transgender individuals face many of the same stressors that heterosexual individuals face.  In addition to those stressors, the LGBT community faces discrimination, stigma, prejudice, and internalized homophobia.  These additional stressors can come in the form of employment or housing discrimination, hate crimes, bullying, barriers to healthcare, exclusion from community, violence, etc.  All of these things lead to higher rates of stress among the LGBT community.

  Research shows that these high levels of stress contribute to poor health and have been connected to suicidal behavior, self-harm, eating disorders, risky sexual behavior, substance abuse, depression, anxiety, and other mental health problems.

So, you may ask yourself, what can I do to battle these stressors?  Common solutions to stress are exercising more, getting enough sleep, time management, meditation, diet, and avoiding caffeine, tobacco, and alcohol.  

These are all great tools for stress reduction. To combat the specific stressors related to the LGBT community we need to add to those tools.  Important ways to decrease LGBT related stress are to: know your rights, get involved in the community, utilize support groups, educate yourself and your loved ones, find LGBT friendly healthcare providers, and familiarize yourself with local resources.  The more you know, the better you can navigate any obstacles you may encounter.  If you live in a rural area it may be difficult to connect to an LGBT community, but support can be found in online forums.  HRC.org is a good starting point for education on LGBT rights by state.  Other good online resources are pflag.org and goaffirmations.com.  

Though we can’t always change the amount of stress we’ll be faced with, we can change our response to it.  The above tools are a great way to help handle the many challenges that come with being LGBT.  Don’t give up hope and ask for help should you need it!

Local LGBT Groups and other therapeutic support groups in The Detroit area: http://www.meetup.com/Emotional-Support-Collaborative/ 

 

Written by: Amanda Furca, Graduate Level Intern, LoringTherapy LLC

Edited by: Charity Loring, LMSW

loringtherapy.com

Adapted from the 2014 article, “Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Stress,” 

by Jay A. Irwin.

http://www.academia.edu/6725226/Lesbian_Gay_Bisexual_and_Transgender_Stress_Wiley_Blackwell_Encyclopedia_of_Health_Illness_Behavior_and_Society_