How many times a day do you tell yourself, “Wow, I am so awesome!?” Probably not enough. On the other hand, how many times can you recall thinking, “I’m so stupid”, or “I can’t do this”? Negative self-talk can be self-defeating and can take a big toll over our emotional-wellbeing.
An example of negative self-talk would be telling yourself “I’m not smart enough to get this job”. Telling yourself this may prevent you from applying. When we feed ourselves negative talk we limit our possibilities. Furthermore, negative self-talk can leave us feeling depressed, anxious, angry or upset. The first step to appreciating you, is to challenge your negative thinking.
If you wouldn’t say it to someone you love, don’t say it to yourself. Would you tell someone you love “you are so stupid” or “you can’t do anything right”? Probably not. How do you think that would make them feel? Hurt, angry, upset? When we make negative comments like “I can’t do this” or “I’m not good enough”, we are in turn hurting our own feelings and damaging our own emotional-wellbeing. Instead of negative talk, ask yourself what would someone I love say to me?
Try it out:
Take a moment to reflect on the past week and identify a time where you found yourself feeling bad about yourself. What did you tell yourself? (Write this down) Now, what do you think a loved one you respect would tell you about what you wrote? (Write this down)
- Example: You say: "I completely messed up that project, I am such a failure" . Your loved one says: “You may not have done as well as you would have liked, but that does not make you a failure”.
Embrace your imperfections. Free yourself and let go. Make a mistake, learn from it and move on. But don’t forget to smile because you are imperfect like everyone else, but you are also unique and full of strengths as well.
Written By: Lara Pomnitz, graduate level intern.
Edited by Charity Loring, LMSW Loring Therapy, LLC http://www.loringtherapy.com/
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