Forming New Positive Habits can replace old Negative Habits

Have you ever decided you wanted to do something to improve yourself but just didn’t know where to start? How many of us have struggled to follow-through with a new goal? The key, rests within our own conscious minds. Think for a minute, have you ever told yourself “From now on, I’m going to start going to the gym!”, or “Todays the day I’ll quit smoking!” How many of us actually succeed? To work towards ridding ourselves of old negative habits, we need to replace them with new positive habits. Research suggests that it takes a minimum of 21 days to form a new habit. For example, if you want to start a habit of walking daily, tell yourself “I’m going to walk every night, for 30 minutes for the next 21 days”. Research shows that if you carry-out your new habit for 21 days in a row, you are more likely to continue even after the 21^st day.

Below are some positive habits to give a try: (Remember the key is to carry-out your new habit for 21 days in a row)

• Take 3 minutes each day to contemplate everything you are thankful for.
• Take 5 minutes each day to practice deep breathing.
• Take 10 minutes a day to consider options to a problem then take action towards finding a solution.
• Take 15 minutes each morning to meditate before you start your day.
• Spend 10 minutes outside each day to appreciate the beauty surrounding you. 
• Perform one small act of kindness for someone else every day.

Keep in mind that we’re all different and some of us may take longer to form a new positive habit and some of us may take less. So don’t beat yourself up if you fall off track, get back up and keeping moving!

Written By: Lara Pomnitz, graduate level intern.

Edited by Charity Loring, LMSW Loring Therapy, LLC http://www.loringtherapy.com/

Why take a Solo Trip?

Why Take a Solo Trip?

I will admit there is nothing like traveling with others for camaraderie. Human connection and shared experiences have a magic all their own.

But traveling alone has a unique magic to it as well. It brings about:

1. Balance

2. Your own version of fun.

3. Heightens the mind with Problem solving skills and Critical thinking. 

4. Let's you get to know yourself and the world around you better.

Sure it gets a little lonely and your mind tends to wander to others sometimes... But for me, the good outweighs the bad.

The Good:

Balance

When else do you have multiple days to please no one but yourself? You get to move at your own pace the entire time. No rushing and no worrying about another persons timeline. You get to luxuriate in laziness and get motivated by things you truly want to explore. Sometimes you get tired of the laziness, sometimes you get tired of the exploring, so then you learn how to balance it all out.

Your own version of fun.

You may not even know what your own version of fun is. And that's perfectly OK. You may be used to traveling with others and doing things that they would like to do or finding compromises. There's nothing wrong with that with those things. But when you travel solo, you truly get a sense of what you enjoy doing, so then you start to learn your own version of fun.

Heightens the mind.

Traveling by yourself makes you more aware of your feelings and thoughts. Sometimes people want to escape these two things by getting lost in distraction. But really, if you don't have anyone else to vent to, or every day life to get in the way, you are faced with resolving those thoughts and feelings so you can then go about enjoying your trip.

Traveling alone also heightens your critical thinking skills. You become a lot more resourceful and creative when you have only yourself to rely on. In essence, traveling with yourself makes you learn more about, well,  yourself.

Getting to know yourself and the world around you better.

Solo Trips make you more aware of your  surroundings...

The quaintness of small towns, the emotions you have when they are stirred by the lyrics and sounds of your favorite music, the wind in your hair, the wildlife chattering and scurrying about you, the friendliness of a smile, or a hello (that you experience often while camping and hiking), children's laughter, annoying car alarms, old men that meet in groups for breakfast and talk mostly about observations but rarely discuss  feelings, women that meet one on one for lunch that talk mostly about their feelings with a small smattering of observations, couples who are opposites, couples who are alike, the friendliness of people who are in the present moment with you and rudeness of people who are lost in their own heads and egos and won't be there with you and self awareness of how you choose to feel and react to friendliness and rudeness. 

We have all tricked ourselves into thinking that we should not travel alone. Some concerns are safety (which can be addressed with realistic planning), fear of the unknown, and thinking that it can't be enjoyed unless others are around. But don't take my word for it, experience a solo trip yourself and see what happens.

Author- Charity M. Loring, LMSW

Loringtherapy.com

Parentification- AKA- Parentified Child

Form of role reversal, in which a child is inappropriately given the role of meeting the emotional or physical needs of the parent or of the family’s other children.

Backlash: Due to being treated like an adult, the child will not be able to relate to peers as a child. Not relating to peers can continue into adulthood. The child will be forced to make their own rules in an immature state due to lack of parenting. The rules they create do not integrate well into society leaving the child to consistently feel like an outsider. 

The child is at high risk in developing explosive anger or withdraw, control issues, neglecting their own emotional needs, severe trust issues,  lack of coping skills (due to the lack of being taught proper coping skills by a parent and having to develop them on their own), lack of developing close emotional relationships, depression, anxiety, social anxiety and suicide. These issues continue to follow the child into adulthood if not treated by a licensed Therapist.

Author: 

Charity M. Loring, LMSW

Loringtherapy.com

What is the difference between Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy? Think of a Dandelion…

Hypnosis - A state of consciousness where your conscious mind and subconscious mind are working together.The Induction is a format of getting to that state of consciousness. You enter this state of mind naturally throughout your day when you are daydreaming or maybe driving on the highway thinking of something subconsciously but you are still conscious enough to drive. Hypnosis has temporary effects as a Hypnotist has no formal education in being a licensed Therapist.

Hypnotherapy - Combines the power of Hypnosis with a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Therapist who has the proper training and knowledge to provide therapy to the client in a focused and open state of using the conscious and subconscious. Hypnotherapy helps you connect with your genuine need and designs an effective strategy to fulfill that need. 

Dandelion Analogy - Your bad habit or life problem is like a dandelion in your yard. Trying to solve it with hypnosis is like pulling off the top of the weed and leaving its roots in the ground. For a time, you won’t see a dandelion in that spot on your lawn, but as the rain falls and the sun shines, that dandelion will grow back. Hypnotherapy is like digging out the weed by its root so that it will never grow back again.

Codependancy

Codependency

Codependency happens when someone else becomes the center of our thoughts, decisions, actions, behaviors, etc.  When we suffer from codependency we lose the relationship we have with ourselves.  Our sense of self is blurred by our need to focus on another person.  Some common signs of codependency are low self-esteem, people-pleasing behavior, denial, poor communication, and obsessive thoughts. 

Codependency is a prevalent problem, but there are some key things you can do to overcome your codependency and recover a healthy relationship with yourself.  These things are:

• Bring your attention back to yourself.  Get in touch with your own thoughts and beliefs.  

• Be aware of your codependency and acknowledge when you’re having codependent thoughts.  By identifying your codependent issues you can being to change them.

• Accept yourself.  Self-acceptance and self-care are essential in conquering codependency.  When you start to accept your inherent value and realize that you have the capacity to care for yourself, change can happen.  Self-acceptance fosters a healthier relationship with ourselves and with others.

• Take action.  Once you become aware of your codependency issues start taking steps to change them.  Remember that these things don’t change overnight, start small and tackle one thing at a time.

Most of us have dealt with codependency at one point or another in our lives, so don’t feel ashamed or guilty if you’re struggling.  Start implementing the steps above and you’ll be on the road to a healthier you!

Written by: Amanda Furca, Graduate Level Intern, Loring Therapy LLC

loringtherapy.com

Adapted from the Psych Central article, “Recovering from Codependency” 

By Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT

URL:  http://psychcentral.com/lib/recovery-from-codependency/00014956

Spring Cleaning for the Mind

The beginning of spring means big changes for most. Planting flowers, spending weekends outside, and of course cleaning one’s home. Another task one should consider this time of year is spring cleaning of the mind. Making changes in one’s life to alleviate the stress built up through the winter months. Here are some tips to get your mind and clean and healthy as your living room!

• Plan out some quiet time. Take some time out of your day to reflect on the things that weigh heavy on your heart. Go for a walk, meditate, or do yoga, anything that allows you to self-reflect. Take a break from technology and take a moment to think about how you want to feel in both your life and relationships. 
• Write a Journal. To clear out your emotional space, write what you are feeling down. Doing this makes emotions seems more manageable and allows one to see them from a different perspective. 
• Let go of a grudge. Letting go of a grudge frees up emotional space that could be invested in other positive avenues. 
• Give an apology. If you feel unsettled about what you did to someone, offer them a sincere apology. Doing so removes unnecessary discomfort for you and allows you to repair those damaged connections with others. 
• Forgiving your faults. Most of the time it is easier to forgive someone else than it is to forgive ourselves. Dwelling on your past shortcomings clutters your present emotional space. Focus on forgiving your shortcomings that way you can focus your emotional energy on other more positive things. 
• Tell your Truth. Being willing to be emotionally honest with those you love allows you to build better connections with them. Make it a priority to be honest about how you’re feeling. 

Written By: Jenai Muhammad, graduate level intern, Loring Therapy, LLC www.loringtherapy.com Adapted from: http://www.sharecare.com/health/stress-reduction/article/6-ways-to-spring-clean-your-mind 

Balancing Work and Life

Our careers and what we do for a living are important to us. We are committed to our jobs and want to excel within the work place. The struggle of being committed to our work is that at times it can take priority over the rest of our lives. This can cause stress and exhaustion within us and make working unpleasant. Here are some ways to keep the commitments of work and the rest of your life in balance. 

• Be open about your needs. Identify what truly matters to you and communicate it, don’t hide what things need to happen to keep you balanced. Communicate these needs to managers and be willing to make a compromise. 
• Respect your boundaries. If you set boundaries for work-life balance, stick to them! You may be tempted to answer that call after work hours or reply back to the email at 4am, but you should stay focused on the boundaries you have set. If you can’t respect you boundaries how will anyone else be able to? 
• Understand what really matters. Focus and prioritize your work load on what really matters most to the company and complete those tasks first. Yes, the company picnic may need planning however the monthly metrics are more important. Utilize your time by working on the most important tasks that way when the work day is done you can walk away without feeling the need to complete things on off hours. 
• Embrace the off button. Every piece of technology you have has an off button, your phone, your tablet, so use it. Having a moment where you disconnect can be quite liberating. It may be difficult at first because we all are used to being connected, however with practice you will be able to embrace that disconnect. 
• Pace yourself. To have a happy healthy life you have to pace yourself. There are times when you may need to move life along faster than others, but it’s all about self-awareness. Keeping a good pace through life will allow you to not only enjoy your destination, but also the journey. 

Written By: Jenai Muhammad, graduate level intern

Edited By: Charity M. Loring, LMSW

Loring Therapy, LLC www.loringtherapy.com 

Adapted from: http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/235427